The last time I went to St. Peter's Basilica for my confession (Nov. 30, 2008) I noticed the guys working on the crib at one corner and remembered how only a few months back, I saw them putting it away!2008 is indeed going...going... and in three-days' time, will be gone! The usual question that comes to mind at the end of every year is, "have I grown and if yes, how-- how much?"
As I continued my musings, I "chanced" on this article by Maggie Fergusson in the Christmas issue of The Tablet -- "Simple, awesome, invitation to love." It talks of the challenge of the Virgin Psychosostria (Saver of Souls), namely the invitation to growth. Contemplating on this 14th century icon, the author of the article rightly remarks - "The Virgin cradles her son, but, rather than looking at him, she offers him outwards -- to God? to the world? Her gaze, meanwhile, seems fixed on the deepest self of the person standing before her, and it is grave and searching."
The problem with Christian growth is a delicate one indeed. I guess it is because the basic challenge of Christ is that for us to be "more" we should be "less". The one who loses himself is the one who finds life, real life! In Christian life, to "nurture oneself" means to "die to oneself." How do we live with this paradox?
The same article mentioned here proposes the answer through the words of Dame Joanna Jamieson, Benedictine nun and former Abbess of Stanbrook Abbey.
Quote from the article: Dame Joanna began by citing the early Christian writers, and the notion of the capax Dei, the space for God that exists within each one of us. "God is not just with us," she says, "he is actually dwelling within us." The tragedy for many of us today is not so much selfishness as a chronic lack of self-esteem, she says, adding: "We are taught that we must love God, and love our neighbour, but we are not taught how to love ourselves. Most people can't begin to imagine how much God loves them." Dame Joanna turns to the image of God as the potter to illustrate her belief that we are never alone in our attempts to change and grow, saying: "Clay is a lumpy, messy, difficult substance, but once God, the potter, has thrown it on to the wheel of life, he never takes his hands off it until it has been transformed." So working on oneself, on one's inner space, far from being selfish, is actually a service to the wider world, she says." (to read the whole article, click here).
The same article mentioned here proposes the answer through the words of Dame Joanna Jamieson, Benedictine nun and former Abbess of Stanbrook Abbey.
Quote from the article: Dame Joanna began by citing the early Christian writers, and the notion of the capax Dei, the space for God that exists within each one of us. "God is not just with us," she says, "he is actually dwelling within us." The tragedy for many of us today is not so much selfishness as a chronic lack of self-esteem, she says, adding: "We are taught that we must love God, and love our neighbour, but we are not taught how to love ourselves. Most people can't begin to imagine how much God loves them." Dame Joanna turns to the image of God as the potter to illustrate her belief that we are never alone in our attempts to change and grow, saying: "Clay is a lumpy, messy, difficult substance, but once God, the potter, has thrown it on to the wheel of life, he never takes his hands off it until it has been transformed." So working on oneself, on one's inner space, far from being selfish, is actually a service to the wider world, she says." (to read the whole article, click here).
In the end, I guess the measure of growth for me would be the increasing capacity for "the three loves" -- love for God, love for others, love for oneself. Recalling the words of my spiritual director spoken more than 30 years ago, I remember him telling me -- no matter what happens, see to it that you are honest to God, to others and to yourself.
Indeed, that is the basic balance, the individuality and the connectedness that I've been working on year in and year out. Providentially, this was the theme by which I started Year 2008, with the help of another spiritual director and friend.
All things considered, I guess there's no harm in meeting the Virgin Psychosostria "eye-to-eye". She knows more than I do that if I say yes to her challenge, God himself will provide the means and the ways how this could be realized.
Indeed, that is the basic balance, the individuality and the connectedness that I've been working on year in and year out. Providentially, this was the theme by which I started Year 2008, with the help of another spiritual director and friend.
All things considered, I guess there's no harm in meeting the Virgin Psychosostria "eye-to-eye". She knows more than I do that if I say yes to her challenge, God himself will provide the means and the ways how this could be realized.
